Going into the new year, I’m ruthlessly focusing that I want to accomplish in the year ahead. They all deal with elimination in favor of clarity, focus, and simplicity.
Sometimes you’re in a season of growth and expansion.
Sometimes you’re in a season of pruning and contraction.
Both are needed. Both are healthy. The trick is to figure out where you’re at, when, and how long you need to be there. Here’s a look at what I’m eliminating.
I mean this in the sense that I literally don’t want to be around people who can’t see hope. People who are always negative, dwelling on the negative, who can’t seem to see the bright side in any situation. This is the main reason why we’ve virtually eliminated all news from our information diet. News thrives on negativity because it drives ratings. It’s not moral, it’s practical.
We all know negative people. It’s more than mere annoyance. Brain studies show that the more we’re around people, the more we absorb their habits. So it stands to reason that if we’re around negative people, we will absorb their negativity.
It doesn’t mean that I only want to be around people who never have a bad day. It just means that I choose to surround myself with people who have the ability to see the positive and not just the negative.
I define overindulging as “enjoying past the point of satisfaction.” This can be food. This can be television. This can be praise and admiration. Just about anything can be overindulged, so I want to find the balance between satisfaction and desire. Learning to know when I’m satisfied and letting that be enough.
I’m practicing leaving my devices in the car at the end of the day. Leaving them there until the kids go to bed and the house is quiet. This is not only good for my relationship with my family, but it’s also good for my relationship with myself. It’s simply not healthy to always be on a device. Sometimes we need to unplug. To take a walk without a phone. To live in moments without feeling the need to capture them.
Codependency is defined as doing whatever it takes to keep the client happy. Sometimes the worst thing you can do is bend over backwards to keep your clients happy. Sometimes they need to be unhappy. But we don’t want them to be unhappy because we’re afraid they’ll leave us.
Codependent relationships say, ‘I need you to be happy so I can be happy.’ As long as you’re putting forth a good product and you can lay your head on the pillow at the end of the night, everything else is a distraction. The good clients will respect your boundaries. The bad ones will take their ball and go home.
Sometimes you need to say to your client, “this is what we do well, and this is what we don’t do. If you need us to do something we don’t do, you’re either going to need to find someone else to do it or be okay not getting it done.” It’s knowing what you’re good at and saying yes to that and only that.
I’m working on marketing from a place of inspiration and not manipulation. Marketing is one part, psychology, one part empathy and, if you’re not careful, it can also be one part black magic. I don’t want people to make decisions based out of fear. I want people to make decisions based out of inspiration.
Doing Stuff I Don’t Want To Do
This is such a great litmus test. Derek Sievers says, “if it’s not a HELL YES, it’s a no.” I love this phrase. I love this posture.
There are some things in life you simply have to do that you don’t want to.
One of those is paying taxes.
Another is clipping your toenails.
Another is cleaning up your toddler’s vomit.
Most everything else is negotiable. In business. I started asking myself the question, do I want to do this? If I don’t, then I don’t do it. If I do want to do it, I jump in with reckless abandon. This is a great gut check, and a great way to make sure you build a business you want instead of building the business that bubbles up by the default.